It feels as if every week there’s another bulky envelope in my mailbox with a “Save the Date” or invitation to a wedding this summer and my weekends are getting filled up with one after the other. With so many to go to, how should I suit up?

Wedding Bell Hell

Dear Wedding Bell Hell,

The bride and groom aren’t the only ones who should make an entrance at the wedding—you have a responsibility to walk in like you just returned from shooting a feature film with France’s most desirable ingénue– but what should a man wear to a wedding? Read on, intrepid reception-goer.

Know Your Audience. Do a quick background check on the venue. This will help you understand how formally to dress. The next step is picking your suit with three things in mind: time of year, fit and color. Seersuckers are a great novelty but not practical when it comes down to it.

A simple two-piece suit in a light cotton blend is ideal summer men’s wedding wear. A two-button front jacket is a classic silhouette that designers return to time and again. As far as tone, the brighter the sun the lighter the shade. Think light blue, light gray or tan for warm weather and grey, charcoal and navy for transitional months. Save your darker colors for cold weather.

Having a Fit. As important as the suit itself is the fit – and one size DOES NOT fit all. Get thee to a tailor and have your suit fitted. It’s worth the money to look money.

It’s All in the Details. A great tie, tie bar, slide or cuff links can be just the gleaming accent you need to catch the eye of that female in the dangerously fitted dress ordering a pinot at the bar. No bling here—it’s the understated accessory that speaks to your taste, not, ahem, compensation.

Step Lively. Don’t forget your feet. Not having a pair of black or brown wingtips, monk straps or loafers to pair with your suit is like not getting leather seats in your BMW or ordering a Miller Light with a Del Frisco porterhouse.

If you follow these simple guidelines I guarantee that for six glorious hours you’ll mingle, drink from bottomless bottles of wine, champagne and other liquors, dance terribly without self-consciousness and feast on mediocre prime rib in a brilliant celebration of excess and quite possibly love—for you.

Best regards,

The Chap

I have a variety of dress shirts that I need to pair with my ties for work, weddings and other more formal events.  I see a lot of different necktie knots and frankly, I’m confused as to which necktie knot should be worn with which tie and shirt. Can you help me to understand the nebulous world of necktie knots before I make a formal faux pas?

Yours,

Knot Sure

Dear Knot Sure,

Like the late, great Michael Jackson once cooed, “You are not alone.”  From novelty neckwear to Father’s Day gifting fails, men’s ties and types of necktie knots are routinely the bane of sartorial existence for a majority of men.

When it comes to choosing which necktie knot to tie, first think of the shirt you are going to pair it with or more specifically, the collar of the shirt. The great thing about the relationship between necktie knots and collars is that you get an immediate sense of proportion that makes it easy to choose which is appropriate to pair with which. Simply put: the wider the collar, the wider the knot, and vice-versa.

For a spread or cut collar, the Windsor or Double Windsor are appropriate. These two are classic necktie knots that project the traditional confidence of a lawyer, stockbroker or a professional athlete arriving at the game. Suffice it to say this is a very “masculine” knot.

“But Chap,” you say, “What about the modern, slim collar?”  Button-down or baby collars call for a smaller necktie knot, like the Half Windsor or the Four-in-Hand knot. I particularly like the latter: it makes a very slim, slightly asymmetrical knot that has you looking like the ACD at a bustling ad agency, even if you’re just bustling to get to the raw bar at your cousin’s wedding.

Remember this though: an askew tie erases the elevated look you’re trying to achieve faster than a cocktail of Fox News and reality television erases brain cells. Even if you’re trying to achieve that slightly rumpled, informally-formal look, make sure that your tie and necktie knot run directly along your placket.  That’s the beauty of a tie: it has the power to hypnotize people so they forget that you were the guy who passed out at the bar during the office holiday party.

Here’s to tying it all together,

The Chap

It’s finally spring and I’m seeing in every magazine, TV spot and department store that “colors” are in. I usually dress in darker, monochromatic tones but I think I want to lighten up this season. How can I do this without looking like a box of crayons has exploded on my clothes?

Regards,
Color Correct

Dear Color Correct,

The mere hint of warm weather sends people into a frenzy of after-work drinks and general post-winter bliss. Spirits are lifted as our cold-weather demeanors quickly melt away.

Unless you worship Robert Smith, find similarities with vampires or think photosynthesis is overrated, you’ve probably already started to get spring fever. Pops of color like cobalt, orange, emerald, teal, yellow and even pink should be a part of almost every combination you choose this spring, and considering the non-traditional ways designers have been working them in, it’s easy to add bright hues without looking like you’re forcing it.

Prints of the land. Floral, paisley, polka dot and colorblocking rescue your shirting from the evil clutches of winter hues. Pair with some basic blues or a subdued chino and you have achieved an enlightened look that’s not over the top.  Your chariot awaits.

The long and short of it.   Among the array of bright clothing for men, bright pants and shorts help your rewrite your color story this season.  I love the look of a rolled emerald green, cobalt blue or red chino with a pair of oxfords and solid shirt for a truly standout look.  Let your look lead.

Detecting an accent. If you’re not brazen enough for the above, don’t fret – you can still be a part of the color guard with your accessories. Brightly hued shoelaces are the easiest way to pop your look in a very understated way, while a boldly colored tie draws attention right away and counters a more monotone buttoned-up look. Still too much? Get waisted. A belt saturated in color is one of the smartest ways to go bright.

Remember: the peacock whose plumes are the most colorful attracts the most attention.  A zookeeper told me that once.

The Chap

Dear Dating at DEFCON 1,

She said yes – congrats on hiding almost everything about the true you! Now it’s focusing on what combination of attire will warm the cockles of her heart and have her texting her friends mid-date to call off the cops. When it comes to first date clothes for men, a combination of confidence and comfort is key to holding her gaze and later, maybe her hand.

Bottoms up. A pair of selvedge jeans or dark-washed denim in a slim or straight fit ensures a clean, modern look that charms every time. For this season I love a pair of colorful chinos as well. If you’re feeling extra daring try a little bit of a cuff roll—about 1-1 ½ “. The key to not making this seem too casual? Pairing chukkas, wingtips or loafers accent this look with the perfect amount of polish. Under no circumstances are sneakers acceptable. You’re an adult male—I can’t believe I had to even write that.

Dispelling the “blazer theory.” You don’t have to wear a blazer, but if you do it should be tailored to your shape and shouldn’t smack of “I get worn to communions/bar mitzvahs/funerals” all over it. Unconstructed sport coat silhouettes that are slightly washed have the ideal combination of elevation and casual cool. Moto and military-inspired jackets are an alternative to the more traditional shirt-and-blazer tandem and give your first-date look a modern appeal.

Rising to the top. While you can’t go wrong with a classic button front, you can also do right with an elevated t-shirt. What’s that you say? Trust yourself on this one: if you would wear it to watch football then it isn’t right for a date. Gingham check shirts, plaid, and dot prints always look good when complemented by the above-mentioned pants and keep your look sartorial.

First dates are amazing examples of how two perfectly normal individuals can act like two completely insane sociopaths or two completely insane sociopaths can act like two perfectly normal individuals. But sometimes two people actually have an amazing time. You got me; I’m a romantic. Take a shower, comb your hair, follow the above tips on first date clothing for men, and you’ll at least start the date disaster free. The rest is up to you, gent.

Yours,
The Chap

A bunch of friends and I decided to head south to the beach. We’re taking a four-day mini-mancation in Miami. It’s my first time taking a “resort” type trip and I have no idea what to bring. Any suggestions on packing resort casual for men?

Yours,
Last Resort

Dear Last Resort:

Packing for a resort vacation is a bit different than packing for a typical beach vacation–and typical beach attire differs from appropriate men’s resort wear. Why? Because you’ll ostensibly do more than just migrate from beach to  cabana, and hopefully your time won’t be spent solely drinking micheladas at the pool bar. Your goal is not constant inebriation. Remember college? That was fun. You aren’t in college anymore.  Your days should be spent soaking up natural vitamin D, charming females, spoiling yourself with all the amenities offered and eating delicious food. Yes, you can tie one on, but use this time to really spoil your body, not leave your body spoiled. 

First things first—take care of all your manscaping one-to-two days prior to leaving. Get a haircut. Trim your stubble. Yes—ALL of your stubble. You know what I’m saying here, right? All. Of. It. Back. Front. Underneath. I’m not saying shave your chest, but even out the hedges at least.  No one needs to see the version of you that has been hiding under layers of sweaters since winter solstice.  I shudder just thinking about the caveman that lurks under there.

Pack light. You’re not a Kardashian, you’re a man. If you can’t fit it into your most stylish weekender, it doesn’t go with you. Below is a simple checklist of resort wear for men to get you pointed in the right direction:

• Reading material. A good book or a few copies of GQ and the Atlantic.  Indulging your brain is as important as the rest of your carnal needs
• Sunglasses. Classic wayfarers are all the rage, but a pair of aviators never go out of style either.
• T-shirts.  Have at least one v-neck and one pocket tee in tow. If one of them has a vintage wash, so much the better.
• A pair of colorful shorts and colorful slim-fit khakis.  Sharp, clean style.
• Print swim trunks. Unless you are going to be fist pumping your way around town, leave the board shorts to those who actually surf. Plaid or floral patterns in bright colors are perfect.
• A pair of loafers and canvas deck shoes. Deck shoes for the day, loafers for the night. Leave the socks at home.

Remember, you work hard and deserve to treat yourself. Feet up. Sun tan lotion on. Deep breaths. Repeat.

Yours,
The Chap

I recently have to come to terms with not being part of the 1% of richest Americans. I was on a dinner date and the first two of three credit cards I used to pay came back as declined.  But looking my best has always been important – it’s one of the reasons I was on the date in the first place.  I would like to know how I can maintain looking my best without emptying my bank account. Any tips on shopping for men’s fashion on a budget?

Yours,

99% Confused

Dear 99% Confused,

American financier J.P. Morgan was famously quoted as saying, “If you have to ask the price of something, you can’t afford it.” While smug, arrogant and worthy of a blue-collar punch in the face, unless you are a millionaire industrialist he had a point. Invest in these men’s affordable fashion tips, to stay as close to the black as possible.

Establishing a foundation of staples is key to dressing well on a budget for men. Spending money on a few key pieces elevates your entire wardrobe. Since versatility is paramount, I recommend The Scotch Rule: essential items should be able to be worn three different ways: neat, up and with a twist. If you are purchasing something and are waffling on whether or not to spend the money, hold it to the light of this credo.

Neat: a classic, it requires nothing to standout above the rest. Its brilliance is its simplicity. Think selvedge denim, chinos and a pair of wingtips. Drink equivalent: Single malt; no rocks.

Up: with a little fashion bartending it can be elevated from its normal utilitarian purpose. Think a two-button blazer, oxford shirt, lightweight sweater and fashion sneakers. Drink equivalent: Old-fashioned.

Twist: like lemon zest, an orange rind or olives, these are the items that accent your Neat and Up basics.  Think striped, colorful socks, belts, shoelaces and hats. These are inexpensive but add a tasteful extra something to the aforementioned standards. Drink equivalent: Extra-dirty martini.

I guarantee that using the Scotch Rule will save you time and money and produce a variety of looks that will take your date’s mind off the fact that you just ordered “dinner” from the appetizer menu.

Cheers,

The Chap

While at the beach recently, a friend of mine took this pic that prompted a rather lengthy debate about proper men’s beach attire. Can you settle this: what should men wear to the beach?

Bewildered Beachside

Dear Bewildered Beachside,

On holiday as a teenager I witnessed a leathery skinned sea-beast emerge from the depths of the ocean. More horrifying than something from the mind Jules Verne himself, it was giant, brown and had a streak of silver hair atop its head. It wasn’t until the copper-skinned creature made its way closer to where I had staked my umbrella that I realized it was far worse than I had imagined: it was a man. A portly man in a Speedo. Who then began to dry his inner thigh. Think about that.

Navigating the waters of bathing suit bravado can be perilous but with these simple rules you can buoy your beach look and keep future psychiatrist’s bills to a minimum.

1. It’s called a bathing suit, isn’t it? Tailoring is not just for your office attire: take your bespoke look to the beach. Don’t drown out your style in a pair of outdated boardshorts. Keep it modern with inseams no longer than 9”. On the other hand, anything less than 6” and you’re dangerously close to overexposure. Keep in mind there’s no amount of SPF that’s going to erase that image from someone’s memory.

2. Get printed. Seersucker, plaid and floral prints add youthfulness to suiting styles. It’s the simplest of advice: stay away from snore-inducing solids. Those are fine for dad because he gave up a long time ago, as his large midsection attests to. You should still be fighting the good fight.

3. Plan ahead. You aren’t on spring break so post-beach cocktails at the local cabana adhere to mature standards: shoes and shirts. A pair of striped espadrilles combined with a washed v-neck t-shirt take you from beach to the bar with effortless aplomb.

Here’s to choosing men’s beachwear wisely,
The Chap

I’m completely bewildered by all the different ways I’m seeing guys wear their pants. Some cuff, some don’t–so, I ask you, are cuffs in style for men’s pants?

Cuff Confused

Dear Cuff Confused,

While most trends in men’s fashion seem fickle and fleeting it appears that variations on cuffs are here to stay–even though real world application has been somewhat of an, ahem, Achilles heel (please tip your waitress).  Dress pants, jeans, and khakis: cuffs on pants are popping up everywhere from boardrooms to barrooms so if you’re ready to take the plunge here are three easy-to-wear ways to reach your high-water mark for style.

Work-in It:  Know this: creative fields are most likely to entertain more courageous fashion forays than others. If you’re heading up a hedge fund meeting – stay traditional. If not, the key to pulling off this pant cuff coup is symmetry and shoes. A pair wingtips or dress loafers complement an even, ankle level roll on a pair of slim-fit pants.

A Casual Companion:  Relax – you’re off the clock. Don’t roll your pant cuffs evenly; part of the attraction to this look is how it’s meant to seem unintentional. The roll itself should look staggered and rumpled with one above the ankle and one below. Finish it with a beat-up oxford, chukka or low-slung sneaker with a rounded toe.

Denim that Delivers:  Depending on the weight and your personal preference you can go block or roll cuff. Heavier denim looks best with a block cuff: about a 1 ½ to 2-inch wide fold-over. Looking for a less rugged rumple? Apply the same casual philosophy and stagger your roll.

Keepin’ it Clean:  Sometimes you just need to stay simple. In general I don’t like a traditional pant cuff unless it’s on a very well made suit, so when buying khakis or dress pants, purchase uncuffed pants and get them hemmed by your tailor. This way you have control over your pant cuffing.

Remember – the fit of your pants is just as important as the roll. The slimmer the better. Rolling a wide-leg jean will make you look like Tom Sawyer, not Thom Browne. Stay away from jug band style at all cost.

Here’s to just rolling with it,

The Chap

It’s 2013 and I’m determined to keep my resolutions, but we’re already a week in and I haven’t even made a list. What advice can you give to a perennial resolution-breaker?

Low Resolution

Dear Low Res,

After you cleaned up what looked like the remnants of a deli sandwich from your couch, downed some Alka Seltzer and a few Tylenols, you took pen to paper and thought up a massive list of resolutions. That was your third mistake, and you weren’t even ten hours into 2013.

The good news: it’s not yet January 10^th. It’s widely known that if you don’t address your resolutions by the 10^th, you’re doomed. Example: George Lucas promised himself he wouldn’t write a terrible script ever again on January 11th. On January 13th, he began Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Alexander Hamilton famously declared “No more duels!” on January 15. Here are a few hints for creating a list of things you’ll actually do this year.

Apply the KISS rule. No, this doesn’t mean paint your face to mimic octogenarian rockers. Keep It Simple Stupid. Instead of saying you’ll go to the gym five days a week, start with two and work your way up. Instead of turning into the most voracious consumer of culture, go to a museum. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you’ve spent a lifetime developing into the person you are, for better or worse. You’re not going to change overnight. If you could, science – or your girlfriend – would have done it to you long ago, trust me.

It’s all about math. There are twelve months in a year, according to the Romans (you hear that, Mayans? You’re about as credible as a Channing Tatum Oscar rumor), which means you have twelve opportunities to try something new. That’s one new thing each month.  Maybe it’s a new restaurant. How about a bike ride or volunteering on weekend?  Be creative. Think hard. Don’t hurt yourself.

Listen chaps: like your dreams of being a roadie for Nickelback, you probably won’t achieve a lot of your goals for 2013, but know that you have 365 tries at betterment—even if it’s just one thing. 365 to one? I’d take those odds if I were you.

Resolutely yours,
The Chap

I recently began dating a woman and things are progressing well. So well that she invited me to dinner at her apartment. What, if any, manscaping should occur? And where?

Cutting it Close

Dear Cutting It Close,

Ah – nascent love: rife with insecurity, opportunity for failure and awkwardness. How I miss it! You’ve charmed her with your wit and your style has made her swoon. Now it’s what’s underneath that counts. No one likes overgrown hedges, but before you even think of personal landscaping, get the right tools, and read up on manscaping techniques. If you’re wondering whether to wax or shave, think about how your father would react to the former. Then go and buy an electric razor with a long hair trimmer function. This should suffice for any of the following and most come with variable settings that will assist you in getting the perfect length.

Façade: Don’t be afraid to give yourself some growth – manicured stubble hints at a rugged side that goes as well with your tailored looks as it does with weekend wear.

Front Yard:

• Tom Selleck: Thick and full, your chest beard suggests inherent manliness. Make sure you don’t go from filet mignon to Cro-Magnon with an occasional trim and you’ll be fine.
• Patch Adams: Your chest is somewhat spotty with little-to-no consistency. Shave those “trouble spots” to create some symmetry. They’re called eyebrows, not nipple-brows.
• Michael Phelps: Whether you’re a professional swimmer or a manatee, the above doesn’t apply to you. Recommended action: sit ups, push-ups and hiring the make-up artist from 300.

Backyard: There is never an amount of back hair that is acceptable. Avoid sedative blowgun darts from Yeti-hunters by shaving all down to just above the waistline. Shoulders too, Sasquatch. Wear that summer tank with complete confidence. If you have a significant other who will do this for you: marry her. Immediately.

Basement: The last and perhaps most important of locales, this is also the most trepidatious. Sharp things and our nether-regions just were not meant to commingle, unless you are a surgeon giving a vasectomy.

Unfortunately, hirsute is not a French term for business attire. However, if you follow the aforementioned rules, you’ll only need to worry about the language of love, mon frère.

Good grooming,
The Chap